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Sexual Objectification

Sexual Objectification

There is a lot of sexual objectification of women going on out there. Sometimes I am still shocked at what I see but I have to say, after all this time I am one of the millions of people out there who have become jaded and more times than not, I am not shocked when I see women objectified. That is not to say I am not appalled, angry and frustrated with the continuation of women being sexually objectified in just about every aspect of our society. I am appalled and you should be too.

The advertising industry trying to sell any product by putting a large breasted woman in the ad, the porn industry being the yardstick by which women measure how their body is supposed to look and sex is supposed to be, music videos showing scantily clad young women happily being sex objects for men are just a few of the convoluted messages women receive about their place in the world. When women, especially young girls, are taught that their beauty is tied to how others expect their bodies to look and their value is tied to how sexy others perceive them, they learn that their sexuality is not their own, but belongs to others.

Sexual objectification means treating a person as simply an object of someone else’s sexual pleasure. In the case of human trafficking part of sexual objectification is viewing women as simply a commodity.  When a woman is a victim of sexual objectification, whether that means harassment by construction workers on the street or being forced into sex work for someone else’s profit, all other attributes such as intelligence are disregarded. This reduces her worth to only that as in instrument for the sexual pleasure of others.

There are some very significant differences between sexual empowerment and sexual objectification. Sexual empowerment is active. It’s ownership of one’s own body. Sexual empowerment is autonomous and self-serving. Objectification is just the opposite. It is a powerless, self-sacrificing, passive relenting of control of our sexuality to another.

The thing that I find very scary is that there seems to be a feeling that being objectified is actually sexually empowering. Nothing could be further from the truth. Simply by letting yourself be sexually objectified you give the power of your sexuality to others.

Yes it is a good feeling to feel sexually desirable. But a woman is sexually desirable because she says it is so. Not because of the catcalls, inappropriate touching and comments made toward her. That is not autonomy that is being objectified. They do not coexist and they are not the same thing.

Women have value in our society. We contribute to the world in many ways, using many talents and attributes. Women are intelligent enough to know their value does not reside between their legs. I am tired of pop culture trying to convince them otherwise. It sends young girls a dangerous message that they often take into adulthood with them.

The real power of female sexuality lies within the truth that the power lays in knowing how to please ourselves, knowing we have value and worth regardless of what others think, or say, or do. Not allowing ourselves to be sexually objectified is a place all women can start to regain control of their sexuality.

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Sexual Empowerment

With over 20 years of experience as a sexuality educator and counselor, one of the things that I have noticed that is profoundly lacking in our world is a sense of sexual empowerment. This is especially true for females.  In a world where for women, sex is tied more to reproduction than pleasure, the idea of sexual empowerment can seem foreign and out of reach.

What is sexual empowerment? Basically, sexual empowerment is being able to make your own choices about your sexual behavior freely without any type of force or coercion and being comfortable with those choices. Sexual empowerment encompasses the ability to communicate our sexual feelings, needs and desires with partners. This includes communicating our sexual boundaries and when we do not want to engage in sexual behavior. It always amazes me that people can get naked together, put various things into various orifices yet cannot talk about what they just did or what they want to do.

How we express ourselves sexually and communicate our sexual desires and needs is one of the most important and personal decisions we make in our lives. We can choose to own our sexual behavior including who we have sex with, when and under what circumstances. More importantly we can choose how we feel about our sexuality and sexual behavior. Do you choose guilt and shame or celebration and pleasure? Sadly, messages women have received about female sexuality from our society have led too many to choose guilt and shame.

The choices that lead to our sexual empowerment are diverse and part of being sexually empowered is being secure in and responsible for our choices. This is not to say women don’t make mistakes. Mistakes are part of our life journey and how we learn what we want and don’t want in life. Whether we choose to be a sex worker or have sex only as an expression of love or any of the variations in between, as long as that choice is made freely that is part of sexual empowerment.

Too often in our society women allow themselves to lose their sexual empowerment by letting other people decide for us the course of our sexual lives. However, the choice is ours. Actually, all the choices are ours. Who we have sex with, who touches us, where they touch us and where we don’t want to be touched. Our bodies belong to us and how we use them is one of the few things in life we can control.

Women are capable of giving and withholding consent. Giving consent when we want to engage in sexual behavior and withholding consent when we don’t is perhaps one of the most important factors in sexual empowerment. Perhaps nothing else does as much damage to our sense of empowerment then when our ability to consent is taken from us.

So as each of us walks our own sexual empowerment journey, it is up to us to decide how we want to live the sexual part of our lives. With no apologies. When one of us does it and we pass on how great it feels to be sexually empowered to other women, it will be like a ripple on a pond and the wave of sexual empowerment will grow and women will be so much better off in this sexual world.

New Post has been published on World Escort 411 Blog
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Fetish Toys for Beginners

Fetish is not only for the BDSM community anymore, fetish toys and other kinky items have made their way into the mainstream. The growing acceptance of fetish play and fetish toys can even be seen on television shows, in movies, and the sexy lingerie can even be found in your local shopping mall! Have you given this newly accepted erotic play a chance? No? Are you too nervous? Bondage and discipline, domination and submission, and sadism and masochism (BDSM) range from very mild to more forceful and crazy play. You have the options to explore at your own personal pace and within your own limits, allowing your fears to be eliminated as you look at all the possible fetish toys you and your partner may choose from.

Let’s begin by checking out the lighter side of fetish. This is the best place to start for beginners, especially since ladies are more receptive to it thanks to its media exposure. Below you will find a few recommendations for those new to fetish toys. The toys listed below can be purchased at any bondage shop.

Silk Scarves

Many, many women fantasize about being tied up, or tied down. One way to find out if your partner is interested in being tied up is to bring several silk scarves with you and introduce them during foreplay. Being by teasing your partner’s entire body, until she is begging you to have your way with her. Once she is at this point, pull out the scarves, slide along her body and tell her you want to tie her wrists together. If she moans in response, then chances are you have a woman who may be into bondage. If she reacts in a fearful manner, odds are bondage is not for her.

If she does allow you to tie her up with the scarves, do not tie her to an inanimate object. Tie her wrists together and be sure her feet feel restrained but are not immovable, this will allow her to feel she can escape if she wants to.


The use of a blindfold can magnify your arousal significantly when used correctly. You can simply the use silk scarves, like the ones discussed above for restraining your partner. The concept behind the use of a blindfold is obvious, it heightens the person’s other senses, making the sound of your voice and the feeling of your breath on her skin that much more incredible. You will be amazed at how aroused the two of your will become as you watch her quiver with anticipation as you tell her what you want to do to her.

When securing the blindfold, be sure to avoid pulling her hair. It is important to not associate pain with this type of play.

Candle Wax

Candle wax sounds quite painful; but in reality is provides quite an erotic sensation. To test whether or not your partner will appreciate candle wax play, start by lighting a candle and keeping it within reach. Begin to drive her wild, using all of the foreplay she loves. As she quivers beneath you, take the candle and hover it above her thigh. Then gently tilt the candle sideways until just one small drop falls; this small drop of wax will help you gauge whether or not your partner will enjoy this type of play. If she likes it, then continue on at a leisurely pace, this is not an experience to rush through, unless she specifically asks you to.

Be sure to keep the hot wax away from sensitive areas such as your partner’s face, nipples, genitals, and any other sensitive areas.

Bondage shops carry specialty candles that burn at a lower temperature than the candles you purchase in your everyday stores. This may be a good option for you if you and your partner are new to wax play.

Spanking Paddle

Spankings are no longer just a form of punishment. Now spanking can be turned into an extremely arousing and pleasurable experience. Every bondage store carries a wide selection of paddles. For beginners, something along the lines of a ping pong paddle is suggested.

To test the waters to determine if your partner is into this type of play, lightly spank next time things start to get hot and heavy. If she does not object, the continue to spank her, as she enjoy it, grab the paddle and give her rear a straightforward smack and see the wild side of her immerge.

For added enjoyment, pause in between spankings to firmly massage your partners bottom. This will add more enjoyment through the mixture of pleasure and pain.

Cock Rings

These toys have advanced tremendously over time, and now can add a great flare to your sex life. After all, what man does not want to have a large penis and a never-ending erection?

Cock rings come in a variety of types, colors, and materials. There are even soft, pliable cock rings available. The vibrating cock rings are made with your female partner in mind; they double her pleasure by stimulating her clitoris during sexual intercourse.

Since most cock rings are not one size fits all, be sure to measure yourself before purchasing one. If you experience any discomfort, tingling, or numbness remove it immediately and purchase a larger sized toy.

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Look Your Best to Make More Money

It is a no brainer, the better an escort looks, the more money a client will be willing to pay to spend time with her. Escorts who are settling into the industry are already attractive; however it is still important to do what they can to look their best. The longer a woman is in the business, the more important it becomes for her to develop a routine to quickly, painlessly, and affordably prepare for a client.

Below are some things to be considered:


It is strongly recommended that escorts do not wear a wig, unless requested to do so by the client. The last thing an escort wants is for her wig to fall off at the wrong moment, shocking her client.

Blondes tend to receive more attention from prospective clients. This could be due to the lighter hair catching the client’s eye more quickly in photographs, or due to the old saying “blondes have more fun.” Regardless, women who have naturally blonde hair should take a careful look at their skin tone to determine if their natural shade works with their complexion. If not, it is highly suggested the woman sees a professional stylists for help adjusting her hair color to match her skin tone.

Brunettes working in the areas that are not overrun by a large number of blondes, should considering lightening their hair if it will work well with their complexion. It is best for brunettes to work with a hair stylist to gradually lighten their hair color.

Women with naturally red hair are always in high demand. Red heads should not change their hair color, but rather have a hair stylist boost their natural color to make it pop even more.

When a woman is changing her natural hair color, she should always aim to keep her shade natural, yet striking.

Body Art

Women who are ink-free and piercing-free should remain that way. Those who do have tattoos and piercings should not try to hide them in photographs that will be presented to clients.

Generally clients desire women whose skin is a clean slate. It leaves more to the imagination. Trying to hide body art until it will be revealed during a session may turn off some clients.


Just as with body art, jewelry should be subtle and simple. When choosing jewelry, it should be tasteful and have no sentimental value attached to it.


Since each person has individual scent preferences, wearing clean, fresh scents that are feminine will be less likely to offend a client.

Avoid wearing anything that could potentially rub off on a client, leaving the scent of the escort behind.


Just like jewelry and perfume, the key to clothing is for it to be simple and feminine.

When an escort will be going to dinner with a client first, it is important to take the setting into consideration. The color palette should suit the women’s skin tone and personality well.


Nails should be kept trimmed, cleaned, and classic. The key is to present one’s self as neutral as possible.

Avoid long nails they may leave marks on the client.


  • Hair: clean, well-cut, and styled
  • Nails: trimmed and clean
  • Clothing: clean, flattering, feminine
  • Scent: soft, fresh, clean, and feminine
  • Jewelry: Secure and subtle
  • Overall: feminine, casual, classic, well put together
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A Brief Guide to Safe Words

Both new comers and seasoned professionals of the d/s lifestyle know and understand how important it is when tying knots and administering punishments to follow certain guidelines to ensure the safety of themselves and their partners. Following these guidelines will help make each experience as enjoyable and mind blowing as the last.

Safe words

During moments of intense arousal and passion, you partner may utter the words, “stop,” “don’t’,” or “no.” However, these words could be part of the naughty fantasy being played out where the “victim” begs your aggressive character to stop yet your partner does not truly want the erotic play to end. For these play sessions, the use of safe words can be truly invaluable.

The safe word should be a word that would not come up during the course of play. Consider using something silly like, “pickled bread.” It may sound absolutely ridiculous, however when will the words “pickled bread” be used during a sexual encounter? Another option you could consider is the use of signal words such as, “green, yellow, and red.” Green would indicate that everything is good, while yellow would signal that everything is good but your partner is uncomfortable with things going any further. Red, just like a traffic light, is the signal to stop.

Making use of safe words and paying close attention to them, helps protect both you and your partner, while still allowing playtime to be enjoyable and pleasurable.

Restraints and Gags

Tying down your partner in order to torture him/her in hot, naughty ways is one of the most erotic things you can do. It is important for you to purchase quality products from professional BDSM stores for this type of naughty play. Professional BDSM stores will not only offer superior products in comparison to your local adult mart, but they also offer a wider selection of products.

When it comes to restraints, silk scarves and stockings are recommended only for adventurous individuals. Items such as silk scarves and stockings generally knot up easily, making them impossible to remove safely. If you still insist upon using these types of restraints, it is recommended that you keep a pair of scissors around.

For those who enjoy police play, or just the use of handcuffs, purchase the same grade handcuffs that police officers use. These higher-grade handcuffs are less likely to tighten, causing them to constrict further and potentially cut off your partner’s circulation.

When using restraints or restriction toys of any kind, you should also make sure that your partner’s circulation is not being cut off. In the event your partner’s hands or feet would feel cold, or they would complain of any tingling or numbness, reposition them to alleviate the stress. While pain and discomfort may be part of the experience for some, it is only appropriate if it is intentional.

Gags, whether it is an o-ring for some forced oral, or a ball gag to muffled your partner’s cries, can be quite fun. When using a gag of any type, keep in mind your partner will not be able to say the safe word, so some other type of safety signal should be established. A hand or arm gesture, or the ringing of a bell can work well as a safety signal. Also, be sure that your partner’s airway is open when the gag is in place, and that his/her nose is not covered.

Rubber or Plastic Sheets

Special sheets are required for food play, sperm play, oil wresting, and any other type of bedroom play that can make a huge mess. Most quality BDSM supplies will carry sheets in a variety of sizes that can be put over your bed to protect it. When playtime is over, simply take the plastic or rubber sheet off, scrub and wash it thoroughly, and it is ready to be used again.

These tips are both modest and important to be followed, they help ensure the health, safety, and enjoyment of both parties involved in the activities

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Keeping Up With the Growth of Internet Marketing

The birth and boom of the World Wide Web has brought information from around the world to us with one stroke of a key or click of a mouse. This phenomenal ease and convenience makes promoting business online easy, especially for those providing escort services. In addition to providing a larger market, the Internet also allows escort agencies and escort directories the ability to stay up to date on other escort websites popping up from other counties such as: England, Russia, and other European countries.

The amount of traffic a website receives on the Internet is directly related to the visibility of the website. Escort directory websites and escort agency websites who receive a high volume of traffic make it easier for the profiles of the escorts to be viewed by potential clients. This is a means to become acquainted with potential clients, which is an effective marketing strategy, as long as the website is a top ranking (SEO) website.

When considering posting an online advertisement on an escort website, it is recommended you seek professional help from some one who has experience in the adult industry. A thorough understanding of access services, such as link building, social bookmarking, directory submissions, press releases, and blogging is required. You also need to choose a reliable service provider who has experience with SEO in the field of escort services. By choosing some one who already has experience in this realm, you are less likely to encounter a scam, and will more likely be satisfied with the results.

It may appear as though online escort site marketing can be quite costly, however this is a common misconception. Different escort website providers offer different packages with varying prices. You have to research the packages carefully to find out which one best meets your needs. Consider looking at escort websites and escort directories, such as, World Escort 411, for help with the process.